


The Agent and The Handler

by Eggsyobsessed



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Bombs, Established Relationship, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Smut, post-mission sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 01:17:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14485632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: A one shot of humor and post mission sex :).





	The Agent and The Handler

 

Eggsy was working to disassemble a bomb that was supposed to go off in 90 seconds under a school in Syria.

How the fuck anyone could knowingly blow up a building full of children was beyond Eggsy’s understanding. His sister, Daisy, was school age now and he would hope to whatever God out there that some insane fuck didn’t think to do this.

Kingsman had received a tip from a political figure who had made a trip to Syria for their campaign, hoping to win the hearts of the Syrian people. How the man got his information is yet to be seen.

 

Eggsy was sweating as he tried to figure out how the fuck to pull this bomb apart.

“Merlin this job should have been Bors, ya know. Bomb expert.”

He heard Merlin chuckle over the coms. The Handler had accompanied him on this mission due to its sensitivity; Merlin was at the extraction point.

_“Aye, Galahad. Bors is on a mission, told ye that.”_

Eggsy huffed rubbing the sweat off of his forehead. “I know shite about bombs,” he muttered.

_“Come now, it isn’t that hard. Open it up and cut the green wire like I told ye.”_

Eggsy was beginning to become frustrated with the shite plastic in his hands when the back popped open exposing red, blue, green, green, yell-...

“Merlin,” he whispered in horror. “There are two green wires.”

Eggsy could hear Merlin cursing to himself. “Fuck we supposed to do now?”

He heard Merlin typing furiously over the coms.

_“One of those will detonate the bomb, jaysus.”_

Eggsy groaned, “Fuck Merlin! I set this thing off that has innocent kids dead.” Never mind he’d be dead too.

_“I am aware agent. Shite 45 seconds left.”_

More typing could be heard, Eggsy’s breath was coming quicker as the seconds ticked by.

_“Alright, if this is correct it will be the second green wire. The one right next to the yellow one. Ye have 20 seconds Galahad.”_

Eggsy grabbed the wire with shaky hands, bringing his right hand up to place the wire cutters against it. Hesitating for a moment, “You sure guv?”

_“Yes, do it now!” Merlin roared in his ear._

Eggsy pinched the cutters over the wire and closed his eyes as he cut it. Opening them quickly to see the bomb had stopped at 3 seconds left. He wiped his face from the sweat that had poured down his cheeks from heat and anxiety.

_“Good job agent.”_

Eggsy laughed breathlessly, “Yeah, right. I’m gonna go throw up now.” He quickly crawled out from under the building and lost his stomach in the dirt beside the school.

_“Go back to extraction, lad. There will be a car here to take us to the airport shortly. See ye soon, agent.” Merlin said and disconnected._

Eggsy had his hands braced on his knees, his heart thudding against his chest adrenaline coursing through his veins. Shaking himself off he began to walk out in the blistering sun.

 

As he made his way to the safe house located in the middle of fucking nowhere, Eggsy fiddled with the ring hanging next to his dad’s medallion.

His legs were becoming tired from having to trudge through the sun like this. His motorbike got destroyed while he tossed a grenade at a group of men who had tried to ambush him.

Coming up to the house he saw a light on inside. It was a little stone hut that had seemed to have grown from the ground. He walked into the door after using the retina scan to get in.

“Remove ye shoes, agent.” Merlin said from the table to the left of the small room, huddled over his laptop.

Eggsy shook his head and kicked his oxfords off. “Why I have to take my shoes off in this dirt infested hole is beyond me. Not like my socks will stay clean.” He walked into the small loo to wash the vile taste out of his mouth.

Eggsy walked out and past Merlin to the small kitchen to grab a beer. “How long til we leave, guv?”

He shrugged his suit jacket off and sat at the table across from Merlin sipping his beer.

“We have 3 hours, agent.” Merlin said not looking up from the screen.

Eggsy hummed to himself as he finished half of his beer. He saw Merlin pop his head over the laptop screen with a quizzical expression.

Merlin squinted at the agent in front of him. “That hum is never a good sign, agent.”

Eggsy smiled slyly, “Oi, you can stop this agent business now. Not like Arthur is watchin’.”

A smile pulled at Merlin’s lips. “Aye, _mo chridhe_ ye are right.”

“Must be why you married me.”

Merlin laughed. “Don’t be so cheeky.”

Eggsy drained the rest of his beer and stood up. He walked over to where Merlin sat, bending down he placed a hard kiss to his lips nipping playfully at the bottom lip.

“You like my cheekiness.” He said wagging his eyebrows.

Merlin stood up to tower over the man in front of him, grabbing Eggsy’s face in the palms of his hands. He bent down to kiss him further. Merlin pulled away licking his lips. “Ye taste salty.”

Eggsy laughed. “Yeah? Hot as fuck out there, guv.”

“Let’s go shower then. We have time.”

“Sure yeah, feel like a walking salt lick anyway.”

 

Eggsy watched as Merlin turned the shower on, removing his clothes not taking his eyes off of the fit man in front of him. He wasn’t sure how he got so fucking lucky.

Eggsy had wanted to jump the Quartermaster’s bones the day he saw him while he was still a recruit. Now here he was 15 years later married to the bloke.

“Ye enjoying the show?” Merlin asked cocking his head to the side.

Eggsy blinked his eyes back into focus, smiling softly. “Yepp, always.”

Merlin shook his head and yanked at Eggsy’s arm pulling him into the shower with him.

“So bossy,” Eggsy breathed running his hands up and down Merlin’s wet chest.

Merlin tipped his husband’s chin up with his forefinger. “Ye like it.” He was rewarded with one of Eggsy’s best smiles.

The water poured down both of them, washing away all the salt and grime from a mission complete.

Eggsy wrapped his arms around Merlin’s neck forcing him to bend closer so he could kiss him.

Merlin laced his fingers through Eggsy’s wet hair, pressing his naked body against his husband’s. He could feel Eggsy’s erection growing against his skin. He pulled away to look at him. “Well aren’t ye excited.”

Eggsy nipped his neck. “Like you weren’t thinking the same thing.” He shimmied his hips feeling Merlin’s erection against him.

Merlin rolled his eyes, “Ye caught me.”

“Shut up and fuck me.”

“Aye that I can do.”

Merlin slid his hands down Eggsy’s back and to his arse, his fingers probed softly at the warm flesh of his hole. He felt as Eggsy began to shudder from the touch. Pressing into his opening further, he gently stretched his fingers. He made quick work to prep his husband to take him.

Placing soft kisses to Merlin’s chest and up his jaw, Eggsy took his mouth again as his husband fingered his arsehole.

Merlin removed his fingers. “Turn around _mo chridhe_ ”

Eggsy did as he was told, turning so his arse was facing Merlin. He bent over without having to be asked. He braced his hands on the shower wall for support as Merlin entered his body with his cock.

Merlin began to thrust in and out of Eggsy, pounding against his prostate each time. He grasped Eggsy’s hips for better balance.

Eggsy moaned softly as Merlin moved in and out of him. The water continued to fall over them. His legs were becoming weak, breath quickening.

Merlin bent slightly to reach around Eggsy’s front and grasped his husband’s cock in his hand. He began to wank him off as he continued to move. Grabbing the shaft firmly he moved his hand up and down Eggsy’s length, rubbing softly at the tip and working his way back down.

“ _Shit! Oh Christ_.” Eggsy spit out through gritted teeth.

Merlin smiled as he continued his sensual assault to his husband, after all he almost died on a mission.

Eggsy was panting loudly, eyes rolling in the back of his head as his cock throbbed. His whole body was vibrating from his arousal. He squeezed his eyes shut as he came loudly. Shouting, “Oh God, holy shite. Alec, oh fuck.”

Merlin became undone as his husband shouted his given name. He murmured terms of endearment in Scottish.

 

Once both men had showered each other off after their post-mission activities, they were in the small bedroom dressing for their departure in an hour.

Eggsy sat on the bed to place his socks on. “Need to almost die more often.”

Merlin turned to look at him as he zipped his trousers up. “That is nae funny, Eggsy.”

Eggsy stood up and placed a soft kiss to Merlin’s lips. “Just a little funny babe.” He easily dodged the hand that went to smack him.

“Love you too!” Eggsy called over his shoulder walking into the front room.

Merlin placed his glasses on connecting back to the coms. They pinged almost immediately with a call from Arthur.

“Merlin.”

_“You do know there are cameras in that house right?” Harry’s voice came through._

Merlin’s posture went rigid. “Please for the love of Christ tell me ye didn’t see anythin.”

_Harry chuckled. “Oh Alec, this is perfect blackmail. Eggsy has a fine moan too.”_

Merlin grit his teeth. “I will make ye life hell Harry. Ye know it too. How much shite have I covered for you over the years?”

_“Aw, Alec let me have some fun! I almost wanked listening.” Harry said with a laugh._

“Ye dirty old fuck!” Merlin shouted and heard Eggsy approach the bedroom.

“Did you need something babe?” Eggsy asked popping his head around the door frame.

Merlin smiled and waved him off. “Nae _mo chridhe_ , just talkin to myself.”

Eggsy looked at him for a moment and shrugged leaving him alone.

_“What the fuck is a mo whatever the fuck it is you said. Oh jaysus you two are so disturbingly sappy.”_

“Aye Harry breathe a word of this at HQ and I will accidentally leak the video feed of you and Percy fucking on The Round Table.” Merlin threatened his friend.

_Harry gasped, “You wouldn’t! I am your boss.”_

Merlin laughed. “Oh, but I would. Don’t test me.”

_“Fine. See you two horn dogs soon.” Harry grumbled and disconnected._

 

 

They made it back to HQ with no problems. Eggsy couldn’t figure out why Harry wouldn’t look him in the face and was blushing scarlet through their debrief.

**Author's Note:**

> Was working on my latest WIP when this idea came to me. Just a one shot to clear my head of all the idea's that float through it. Hope you all enjoy :).


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